Thursday, December 30, 2004

Cell Block Party

Things like this almost make me wish I was in prison:

From NY1:

Velella Reportedly Sharing Cell Block With Rapper "Shyne"
DECEMBER 29TH, 2004 -- As he settles back into his cell on Rikers Island, former state Senator Guy Velella may find he isn't the only well-known inmate on the block.

According to published reports, Velella shares a cell block with the rapper

Shyne, whose real name is Jamal Barrow, is serving a 10-year sentence for firing a gun at a Midtown nightclub in a case that gained national attention because it also involved P. Diddy and Jennifer Lopez.

Shyne is at Rikers only temporarily.

Velella turned himself in Monday to serve the remainder of his one-year sentence on bribery charges after a court ruled his early release was improper.

Velella was released nine months early in September by a previously obscure city panel, the Local Conditional Release Commission, raising concerns about improper influence. An ensuing investigation found the decision was technically illegal because the minimum number of members was not physically present at the vote.

The Court of Appeals is expected to decide next month whether to take up his case.

The once powerful Bronx Republican pleaded guilty last May to accepting bribes in exchange for steering government contracts.

It's My Car and I'll Dress How I Want To

It sucks to get caught, but who hasn't done this before?

Cops Catch Naked Man Sitting in Car
Dec 29, 2004 8:53 am US/Eastern(1010 WINS) (Brewster, NY ) A naked man has been arrested while sitting in his car in an apartment parking lot in Brewster. The Putnam County Sheriff's Department says a deputy wondered why the car was running with its light off last night. The deputy walked over to the car and found 21-year-old Philip Rabito of Brewster in the driver's seat with no clothes on. He was arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana.

Police don't know where Rabito's clothes are, or why he was there.

CA vs. LP

I know every little bit counts and all that, but isn't it a tad bit pathetic that Computer Associates International, Inc. is donating $200,000 to support the tsunami relief effort while the band Linkin Park is donating $100,000? A multi-billion dollar corporation with 15,300 employees (and offices in Indonesia, Thailand and India) is dropping $200,000 while six jokers from California in a band are donating $100,000? $200,000 divided by the number of employees equals about $13.07 for each employee (versus $16,666.67 for each member of Linkin Park). CA could probably get more than that if they just asked for donations from individual employees. OK, so they are also matching individual employee donations too, but come on CA! I know you didn't have to donate anything at all, but if you are going to donate ... well, donate.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Bound to Happen

Someone got to this site today by searching: Jessica+Biel+bound+with+duct+tape

I don't mean to disappoint, but I don't think such a photo exists ... unless someone has broken into my basement with a camera and posted the results.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Adjust Those Maps

In further tsunami news:

Remember back in elementary school when some teacher told you that all the earth's land masses used to be aligned differently -- like you could walk from Alaska to Russia or South America to Africa?

Well, perhaps it your teacher was telling the truth and even more frightening, it seems we're still on the move (please God or Mother Earth or whoever is doing all this moving ... please don't move New York next to France):

Quake rattled Earth orbit, changed map of Asia: US geophysicist
Mon Dec 27, 8:33 PM ET

LOS ANGELES, (AFP) - An earthquake that unleashed deadly tidal waves on Asia was so powerful it made the Earth wobble on its axis and permanently altered the regional map, US geophysicists said.

The 9.0-magnitude temblor that struck 250 kilometers (155 miles) southeast of Sumatra island Sunday may have moved small islands as much as 20 meters (66 feet), according to one expert.

"That earthquake has changed the map," US Geological Survey expert Ken Hudnut told AFP.

"Based on seismic modeling, some of the smaller islands off the southwest coast of Sumatra may have moved to the southwest by about 20 meters. That is a lot of slip."

The northwestern tip of the Indonesian territory of Sumatra may also have shifted to the southwest by around 36 meters (120 feet), Hudnut said.

In addition, the energy released as the two sides of the undersea fault slipped against each other made the Earth wobble on its axis, Hudnut said.

"We can detect very slight motions of the Earth and I would expect that the Earth wobbled in its orbit when the earthquake occurred due the massive amount of energy exerted and the sudden shift in mass," Hudnut said.

Another USGS research geophysicist agreed that the Earth would have got a "little jog," and that the islands off Sumatra would have been moved by the quake.

However, Stuart Sipkin, of the USGS National Earthquake Information Center in Golden Colorado, said it was more likely that the islands off Sumatra had risen higher out of the sea than they had moved laterally.

"In in this case, the Indian plate dived below the Burma plate, causing uplift, so most of the motion to the islands would have been vertical, not horizontal."

The tsunamis unleashed by the fourth-biggest earthquake in a century have left at least 23,675 people dead in eight countries across Asia and as far as Somalia in East Africa.

The tsunamis wiped out entire coastal villages and pulled beach-goers out to sea.

The International Red Cross estimated that up to one million people have been displaced by the natural calamity.


This tsunami business in Asia is nuts. I am becoming obsessed with reading people's eyewitness and survival stories.

I visited a friend of mine who used to live in Thailand a few times, and the last time I was there I stayed on Ko Lanta, one of the islands that got pounded (although not as bad as some other places).

The latest report I read said that hundreds more have perished in Ko Lanta and on Ko Phi Phi (another island near Lanta). I could have been one of the unlucky ones if the earth had timed its rumblings differently. I can picture my lazy ass on the beach with a book, some pineapple and a bad sunburn, not even noticing the wave heading towards me, grabbing hold and turning me into a human torpedo. I would have been doomed for sure. Probably swept into a palm tree or elephant or something like that and ~snap~ goes my neck.

This account on is a good one for showing how screwed you are when a tsunami attacks (someone actually said "tsunami attack" on CNN earlier as though it was a crazed animal or an invading army):
PHUKET, Thailand (CNN) -- What do you do when you see a huge wave-wall
coming at you? You run. You run as fast as you can. You think: "This is surreal."

But you keep running ... until the water lifts you off your feet and sweeps you onwards.

It makes no difference whether you can swim or not.

The force carries you forward, and you become a living, breathing projectile. Grab onto something and you may live.

Surf the wave and you have a chance. Hit something solid, and you die.

The place I stayed in was pretty much right on the beach and made of bamboo with a little tile/cement in the bathroom. As a matter of fact, almost every place along the beach was pretty much the same style. I am guessing most of those places don't exist anymore.

These stories don't make things sound very promising:

As an Australian medic I, along with two other medical students who witnessed the tsunami were taken to the Ko Lanta hospital where we have worked since midday. I was involved in 2 unsuccessful resuscitations of drowning victims, and treated over sixty foreign holidaymakers with injuries, mainly multiple fractures, some severe such as skull fractures and suspected spinal fractures ... People are awaiting another wave and most are camping out on hilltops, not that any accommodation at beach level remains.
- Benjamin Gilmour, Thailand
Link to full article (subscription needed)

A lot of people have arrived from the islands over the last few days, though the situation in Ko Phi Phi and Ko Lanta is fairly dire -- there are reports of significant numbers of Western casualties."
- Tom Carter, of the British emergency consulate in Phuket, Thailand
Link to full article

Hold on my little Ko Lanta friends. Things can only get better.

PS You guys in that tourism booking/internet cafe place in Ban Saladan with the Osama Bin Laden wallpaper on your computer. I hope you, or at the very least, your computers are buried in mud.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Deja Vu

Sometimes Albany is like a timewarp.

The other night I was driving back to my parent's house from Albany. It was dark, the roads were pretty empty, my faint smell of beer was on my breath and Come Out And Play by the Offspring was on the radio.

It could have easily been 1994.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

'Tis the Season (you stingy bitch)

In April Rigo is going to be swimming, biking and running his ass off in a triathlon down in Florida. He's doing it for a good cause. Two good causes actually -- getting in shape and raising money for The The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Since this is the season of giving and all that, why don't you take some of your holiday bonus or if you didn't get a bonus just take some of your hard-earned cash and hook him (and The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society) up!

Stop being such a selfish scrooge and get givin' right here.

Color Me Xmas

Feeling festive? Well, perhaps that's because the blue has turned to green here at

That's right! We're in full on Christmas mode, so you're getting red and green as the theme for the next couple of days.

Enjoy ... and Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum!

Me Shaq.

Shaq big.

Shaq hungry.

Mmmmm number eleven.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Weekend

This past weekend was a sporting one for me. Not participation though. Strictly viewing.

Saturday was football. Thanks to Mike and his NJ connections, I got to witness the Steelers beat the Giants in person (as opposed to my usual position at home on the couch). The deal even included a car ride to the game. You can't beat that. It was a good game and my first trip to Giants Stadium for a sporting event (I was there one other time for Ozzfest back in 1997, but most don't consider that a sport). It was much colder being off the couch and sitting outside, and the line for the bathroom was longer, the beers were a tad more expensive, but the excitement is definitely higher in person then through my TV.

Sunday was basketball. I went to see Marist play St. John's in fabulous Queens at the newly named Lou Carnesecca Arena. St. John's was pretty bad, but unfortunately my boys from Marist were even worse. Damn you Red Storm. Daaaamn yooooouuuuu!

So, that was pretty much the weekend. Somewhere in there I managed to drink some beers, eat some Indian food and purchased a Christmas tree too. Speaking of Christmas ... holy shit! Only 4 shopping days left.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Pedro Ridin' the 7 Train

Dear Mets,

I really hope this all works out for you.

Really. I do.


PS This cost you $53 million?

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The Envelope

I'm blading home along 14th Street after work today and as I pull up along a car I see something on its roof. It is way back, about to slide down the rear window and more than likely down to the road. Upon second look I see that the object is a file -- apparently called an expanding wallet.

The car is rolling along, but rather slowly due to the driver fighting traffic and attempting to take a right hand turn without running over pedestrians. I'm on the right hand side of the car, so I grab the "wallet" and knock on the rear window. He looks quickly over his shoulder and says something I can't hear. I try showing him the expanding wallet. No dice. I give another quick tap, but he has found a gap in between the people in the crosswalk and gasses it forward. I roll up to the driver's side and knock again. He now looks panicked like I might want to drag him out of the car and rape him or something and pulls away with the quickness. I had thoughts of giving chase, but decided I had already gone beyond my call of duty.

I was about to just drop the expanding wallet in the street where it would have wound up if I didn't come skating along, but then started thinking about what might be inside. Important documents for a big trial? Plans for murdering the President? The cure for cancer? A whole bunch of weed?

I decide to hold onto the loot and check out its contents upon my arrival home. I'm praying for something important along with a business card or something so I could call the owner up and tell him I have his shit, but because he is such a spastic driver and skater hater he'd never see it again.

I get home, take off my bag, my hat, my jacket. I grab the expanding wallet and take off the elastic cord that is holding the treasure safe inside its confines. I open the top flap and peer inside ... it's the fucking New York Post. That's it.

What a rip off.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

No Joke

Perhaps George W.'s next strategic move will be to send Costa Rican taxi drivers to Afghanistan to sniff out Bin Laden? --> link

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Post Party

So, mission accomplished as far as my plan for the work holiday party went. I didn't get drunk enough to act like a jackass which is all for the best.

Towards the end of the night there was some co-worker hook-ups happening. This is inevitable I guess, but there is always some worry with the parties involved about how it will effect the other participant and how it may be viewed by other witnesses.

I think my high school friend Pete said it best. During one of the summers during college, a day after a lewd affair by yours truly, my friends and I were playing basketball. During a break from playing, a few girls we were friends with who were hanging out started giving me shit about my antics. Pete, who wasn't one to judge, especially in that arena, clearly didn't think I deserved what I was getting and throws in his two cents ~~

Pete interjects: Did you have fun?
Me: Yeah.
Pete: Do you think she did?
Me: I presume so.
Pete: Did you make any promises you can't keep?
Me: (Not knowing where he was going with this) No. I didn't make any promises.
Pete: Hmmmm. And did anyone get hurt?
Me: No.
Pete: So you had fun and nobody got hurt?
Me: Yeah?
Pete: Just as I thought. There is no problem. Now shut the fuck up. We're playing basketball.

So, any of you that feel dirty/confused/guilty or whatever due to your questionable acts just ask yourself Pete's questions. That might clear your name and your conscience. If it doesn't clear your name then you are a selfish, insensitive, dirty, dirty slut.

Name cleared or not, you should go clean your genitals! Gross.

Friday, December 10, 2004

The Plan

I'm leaving for my company's holiday party in a short while. It is nice to have a guaranteed drunkathon on Friday as opposed to say a Thursday as has been done in the past. I am presuming that it costs more to rent out a place on a Friday, but you have to think of the level of productivity the day after a open bar. The money saved by having a party on Thursday has got to be lost on the Friday following. Anyway, it is on a Friday, so let's not sweat it.

My plan is to get drunk but to not be "that guy" or "Frank the Tank" or just plain old "fired." I'll let someone else fill those roles for me. Hopefully someone will create some quality blogging material.

Time Management

"When something is important to you, you find a way to make the time. Or rather, the time makes itself."
- Mike Patton

Thursday, December 9, 2004

Pimp Your iPod

The holiday season is upon us. Sure it is a fun time, but you know it can sometimes be a bit difficult to decide upon a gift -- a GOOD gift -- to give to someone. Well, my friend Gary has started this e-commerce site that might very well make your mission to find a good gift to give for Christmas/Kwanzaa/Chanukah (no matter how you spell it)/Winter Solstice/New Year's or some other future occasion or holiday a bit easier.

On you can hook up that someone special with a package of love and gadgetry that can make their iPod a multi-faceted tool of technological usefulness. Everybody check it out (family/friends of Duke University freshman especially) and get buying.

They get something good. You get to avoid the mall. Everybody wins!

Damageplan ... Damagedone

Well, since I lack any grace in discussing things of such shock/irritation/tragedy I'll just say that this news is fucked up. Everytime I read it I actually feel a little sick.

For those of you too lazy to click on the link, former Pantera guitarist "Dimebag" Darrell was shot and killed (along with two other people) while playing at a club in Columbus, OH with his new band Damageplan. The shooter was shot and killed, so unfortunately we may never know why someone would do something so assholic.

Pantera was one of my favorites, especially live. Dimebag really was one of the best guitarists ever (especially in the metal genre) AND let's not forget his goatee. That shit was pretty kickass too.

I repeat ... Fucked up.
"Dimebag" Darrell
08/20/66 - 12/08/04

Thursday, December 2, 2004

Annan and On and On

Today, on my way to work, having nothing to read I pulled the ol' read the paper of the guy a couple of seats down move. The paper was either the New York Post or New York Daily News (as is so often the case with subway news readers) and as I skimmed the story facing me I catch the somewhat fragmented, "a gay man who described a lurid homosexual encounter he claims he had with Ted Ammon" For one reason or another I read "Ted Ammon" as "Kofi Annan"

"A lurid homosexual encounter with Kofi Annan" Now that's a news story the world doesn't need to see.

I don't know what is wrong with me. First the Maroon 5 post and now this? Therapy, here I come.

I Know ... I'm Going to Hell

Is this:
(a) Adam Levine, lead singer of Maroon 5 performing live?
(b) a rowdy special ed. class talent show?

One Day Left

So, tomorrow is my last day working in Manhattan, as my job is moving from New York City to a slightly less hip "City" ... Jersey City.

Yup, Jersey City. Just across the mighty Hudson to the land where Frank Sinatra was married and lived, NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and acting genius Malcolm-Jamal Warner were born and Kool & the Gang started groovin'.

It's gonna be great (please read "great" as Tony the Tiger would say it, but with much sarcasm).

Quite an Aura

I just got back from picking up some clothes from the Aura Cleaners on 602 East 14th Street, NYC. If the girl who works behind the counter there (and she ALWAYS seems to be working by the way) isn't the most glad-to-help, efficient and friendly person you'll ever encounter in any sort of job (especially in NYC) I'd like to hear about it.

Oh, and by the way ... my clothes come out pretty damn good too.