Friday, August 11, 2006

Health and Vitality

I have run across this supersized infomercial on i (formerly known as PAX) a couple of times recently. I think it is 30 minutes (maybe more?) and formatted like a news program. Everyone is very serious. Very serious about clean colons. It's fucking ridiculous and slightly gross, yet somehow I can not look away from the horror. I think they have one for another ailment too, but this is the one that fascinates me the most (of course).

This is the guy who is the colon "expert":
He's all business. He makes a lot of awesome faces and hand gestures to show how serious dirty colons are and how expert he is.

Is a clean colon the secret to health and vitality? The expert seems to think so.

I still haven't actually hung around long enough to figure out what the hell this infomercial is promoting. I'm guessing from the conversation I have witnessed is that it is something that makes you shit out everything you have inside you -- probably even vital organs. When you do, you may or may not make this face:
Keep an eye out for it.

Speaking of shitting, I've had some inquiries of my parasitical status. Well, I feel better, thank you very much. However, before you get all "hip, hip, hooray" on my ass, I am still not 100% cured. I have to have some more testing done (probably this week) to see if the parasite has been killed by the medication I was on, or if it has just gone into temporary hiding. Apparently parasite are sneaky and rather resilient.

On the parasite note, my co-worker Meg made me this artistic tribute to my parasite on GE's very entertaining Imagination Cubed site: See the painstaking process of making this here.

Although this may very well be an accurate portrayal of what is going on inside of me, I don't care for the smile and carefree attitude that parasite has one bit. Little fucker!

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