Pop quiz, hot shot ...

Who would you rather see on stage at a concert?

(A)


(B)


(C)

or

(D)


I'm not so good at tests, and this is a bit of a trick question seeing that it is the same band in all of the photos, but if there is one thing I do know, it's that my answer is no way in hell "D"! I know it doesn't change the way the music sounds, but let's face it, the theatrics are pretty cool.

Word to the wise Mudvayne -- bring back the goddamn makeup!

Wrong Number

I moved into the apartment I currently live in way back in September of 2002. Since the day my phone got hooked up I have received a pretty steady flow of phone calls for one Laylee Olfat. Not just calling, but leaving messages on a voice mail that clearly states names other than Laylee. After one of these callers made some sort of reference to needing to get some photos and documents to her, I put it together that she might be "in the biz" -- the entertainment biz that is. A little searching on imdb.com brought everything into focus.

Apparently Laylee is a casting director, so these fools calling are probably trying to kiss her ass in one way or another so Laylee can open the door to the big time. Unfortunately for them when they make this call Laylee doesn't answer. I answer. I'm not "in the biz" nor could I give a shit to be perfectly honest. I don't know who she really is, I don't know where she is and I don't know her new number. All I know is that she used to have my number and when she unloaded it for me to snatch out of the available phone number pool for my own, she left a bunch of people sounding pretty desperate to get in touch with her.
Anyway, the calls have diminished some, but Laylee, if you see this (perhaps you Googled your own name or something), drop me a line (don't worry, I'm not mad) and let me know if you'd like me to pass on your new information to these fools ... or better yet, if you have a role for me in a big movie. Thanks.


Laylee (left)

Zero Feels Good

One of my favorite things in this world is getting a credit card bill in the mail, tearing it open and seeing this:

New Balance
$0.00

Minimum Amount Due
$0.00

Always Watching

Lately at work there has been a crackdown on non-work related internet usage. Blog viewing/making, personal e-mail reading/sending, shopping, porn, etc. Well, as if psychic, the latest issue of Playboy (February 2005) has a little thing on their "Raw Data" page of useless stats and facts about this very subject:


How companies spy on employees:
74% track internet surfing
62% run background checks
43% read employees' e-mail
31% look at employees' computer files
18% watch employees on video
12% eavesdrop on phone conversations
7% listen to voice mail
6% give polygraph exams

So, it is nice to know Playboy is looking out for me by letting me know my job isn't the only place of employment flexing its right to spy. It's also nice to know that I don't have voicemail at work nor have I been given a polygraph test, so that eliminates me from 13% of possible scrutiny on this list.

Mmmmmm, lucky 13 ...

18 Degrees Outside, 77 Degrees Inside

Sometimes I really love Sundays

Get a Band

Tonight on SNL (or Saturday Night Live for those of you not in the know) the musical guest was Ludacris. Instead of the usual routine, for his first appearance he did "Get Back" with Sum 41 providing the tunes and backup vocals. Pretty good stuff.

I recall DMX on SNL a few years ago doing "Party Up" with a live band. Not quite as metal as the Ludacris/Sum 41 joint, but also good.

Hell, we can even reflect back on the LL Cool J "Unplugged" on MTV many a year ago. Once again ... live band, and yes, it was good.

I don't know why rappers don't do this live band shit more often. Loyalty to the DJ? The DJ can stay. Worried about keepin' it real? Bands are real. I just think a live band validates the talent of (most) MCs way better than having a huge posse of idiots screaming over some track. I've seen some rap/hip hop acts live before and they don't hold my attention very well. The sound is usually lacking and there's not much to watch (unless Flavor Flav is on stage). They should be both, but if a live show doesn't sound good or is isn't fun to watch why not just sit at home or car with the stereo cranked?

So, here's your chance MCs. Get a band behind you and maybe the kids will start purchasing more tickets to your shows. Think $$$!

You're welcome.

New Fun

So, I just purchased myself a new toy.

On Sunday I braved the crowds, trekked over to B&H and treated myself to a brand spankin' new digital camera. It's pretty sweet.

I've got 5 megapixels at my disposal, so now I'll be polluting the information superhighway with self-produced visuals as well as senseless babble.

Warm Welcome

Welcome to Jersey City, NJ USA

Beat the Meat

Back in July, I blogged about a 6lb. burger at a place in Pennsylvania.

The thing is ridiculous. Even if you removed the six pounds of meat, most people would have trouble eating the bun and toppings: one large onion, two whole tomatoes, one half head of lettuce, 1-1/4 pounds of cheese, and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, relish, banana peppers and some pickles.

Nobody has ever been able to consume one in under three hours. Until last Wednesday, when a 100 pound, female college student kicked that burger's ass.

Check out the story of triumph here.

Proud of you Kate!

Die Practice

I'm riding the M14 bus last night heading for Union Square and this jerkoff gets on and sits in front of me. He's got dice in his hand that he keeps shaking (rattle, rattle, rattle) and then rolling onto the bus floor like he is practicing. Dice aren't something you can practice fucker. They just roll around and land on whatever number they feel like landing on. Practice is futile ... and more importantly really fucking annoying to those around you.

I'm Glad I'm Not Alone

Simon Cowell.

Funny? I think so. To a certain extent, but then he gets a bit tired to me. Probably more entertaining than funny I'd say.

Does he know what the hell he is talking about in the music world as far as creating a superstar? Well, I guess he had done OK so far with his American Idol picking, but this may very well be the sign that he really does know what's up:

On Beyonce Knowles ~ "I find the whole Beyonce thing really mystifying. She's not sexy. She hasn't got a great body. And she's not a great singer."

Amen.

Head In The Clouds

This morning when I came out of the PATH station in Jersey City I looked across the mighty Hudson as I always do. Instead of the usual sight of a seemingly impossible number of too tall buildings crammed in lower Manhattan all I saw was white. The fog had totally obscured all things beyond the halfway point of the river. As far as I could see with the naked eye, Manhattan didn't exist.

It was pretty cool, but as I walked along the river I quietly wished I was walking along the Manhattan side and it was New Jersey that didn't exist.

Stupid Jersey ...

Am I What?

There is a shoe repair/dry cleaners shop in the little "mall" where my office is. There is a poster in there on the wall that is a drawing of a baby sitting up. Under it it says Am I Cuat? Everyday, I look at it, thinking that I must have read it incorrectly the previous day.

On the way in, I'll look over with anticipation that it will say Am I Cute? like I am guessing it should say. Nope. It says Am I Cuat?

I can't stop being confused. Cuat? I don't think you are Cuat, little poster baby, but what the hell do I know?

Perhaps if someone could translate or explain or something that would help a bunch.

Get Out of Town

This past weekend a couple of co-workers and I packed up our gear and headed upstate for a weekend out of the NYC metropolitan area chaos. Is there a better weekend escape during the winter than some mountain fun? An almost certain "No" is the only answer I've got.

Off to Greek Peak we went. A good time was had by all, and I think I have officially crossed the line from skier to snowboarder. I'm sure I will still ski, but I think a snowboard is going to be my main device of choice for rockin' the slopes for awhile.

Check out this mean machine that we rented to transport our asses and gear up there:
















I know what you are thinking -- Pretty badass.

What you're looking at is a Dodge Caravan rented from Avis in fabulous J.C. The key chain had the color labeled as "green" but some argued that it was more "blue." Well, according to the Dodge website it is actually "Magnesium Pearl." I think that settles that.

Thanks to our get outta town motivation and our friend Magnesium Pearl minivan the weekend was a success. There was a memorable stop at the Wal-Mart Supercenter in Wilkes-Barre, PA; Genesee beer and snacks from Xtramart; an overdose of celebrity gossip magazines; some football watching (Jets, you are so dead this week); lots of sleep; and of course our time on the slopes/in Orion's Pub.

There is already talk of a round 2 happening perhaps in February. I can't wait.

Phil Tells It

In a follow up to my long ago post about the killing of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott here is a link to a video statement from former Pantera singer (and general nut case) Phil Anselmo about his feelings on the killing and being asked to not attend the funeral by Dimebag's family (Phil and Dimebag weren't on the best of terms thanks to saying things like how he could "... "kill [Abbott] like a fuckin' piece of vapor.")

Anyway, check out the video here.

Yikes! He is all over the place. I don't know whether to feel sad, scared or giggle a bit.

I think one thing is for sure. We can count on some very heavy, very angry, very suicidal music from Phil.

The End is Near

I see this photo on Yahoo! today in the news section:
I don't mean to make you nervous or cause some sort of mass panic, but check out the caption that goes with it. It seems like we may be doomed -- sometime between now and the year 12,005:

Hammocks almost buried at the beach of Pajara district in Fuerteventura island (Canary Island), southern Spain. Countries all around the Atlantic rim could be hit by killer tsunamis at any time between now and the next 10,000 years, the British government's chief scientific adviser said.(AFP/EPA/EFE/File/Juan Medina)