Out of the V.I. Closet

Vanilla Ice. I wasn't really into him back in his heyday -- at least not any more than anybody else who turned on a radio or watched MTV back then -- but I took a liking to him when he appeared in 1996 as a special guest on Bloodhound Gang's song "Boom" (yeah, that clip is the V.I.).

After that, I have slowly become a bit of a (not so) closeted Vanilla Ice fan. A guilty pleasure some would call it. Feel free to make fun. I don't care.

I'm sure you are wondering where the hell I am going with all this.

Well, I wanted to give a little background in hopes to explain why I've acquired this newly issued gem, Vanilla Ice ~ Platinum Underground:

Sweet, I know.

So far, this is my favorite rhyme from the album:

I'm on a mission, I remain in the game,
see, I do it for my rhymes, you can fuck the fame,
cause I cater to my crew, ones that pull me through,
the blacks, Puerto Ricans and the white people too,

All you haters, I kick ya hmmm like Bruce Lee,
Got my foot up in that ass, so far you can't see ...

Classic. Yet new? It's a new classic, I'll say.

SHOCK Rock

I think I have found my new favorite Japanese rockers in Electric Eel SHOCK. Actually, now that I think of it, I have never had a favorite Japanese rocker or rockers, so I guess there is nothing new about this. Nevertheless, you should check out this video for a taste.

Black and White and Red All Over

Does anyone find things a bit out of the ordinary when a woman tried to comfort a skunk after it had an altercation with a dog? Rabies positive or rabies negative, comforting a skunk sounds like a bad, bad idea to me.

Rabid Skunk Bites Bergen County Woman

Aug 25, 2005 11:02 am US/Eastern
(1010 WINS)
(WOODCLIFF LAKE, N.J.)

Officials say a skunk that bit a woman in Bergen County tested positive for rabies.

The woman had tried to comfort the animal after it had an altercation with a dog in Woodcliff Lake.

Officials say the woman, whose name was not released, had to seek treatment.

It's the third animal diagnosed with rabies in the county this year.

Just Tubin' It

Heading upstate for the weekend and spending a good chunk of the day like this makes me wonder why the fuck I am living in a city ...

More Assholes

I received more stupid comments spam from asswipes trying to push their goods and services. I deleted them, but I thought I would share what awesomeness these salesfolk had to offer:

• If you're looking for more hair loss remedy related resources check out my hair loss remedy site.
  
• I've got a arthritis pain relief site/blog. And it covers arthritis pain relief related items. Come and check it out if you get time :-)
  
• I have a free test drives Site. It's all about free test drives related stuff. Come and check us out if you get time.
  
• I have a free online play poker site/blog. It pretty much covers free online play poker related stuff. Come and see it some time.
  
• I really enjoy reading blogs! I have a forex currency trading system site. It really is about forex currency trading system and stuff. Check it out some time.

All of those offerings are so hard to find. Thanks for contacting me!

The Jump

As requested. As promised. Here are some photos of myself plummeting to earth from 13,000 feet back on August 7, 2005 (you can click on them for a larger view):


Holy crap! Why did I pay to do this?!?!


Wait a minute, shouldn't I be in that plane up there?


A long way to go ...


120 MPH = Smoosh face


Remember to pull the cord at 6,000 feet. Remember to pull the cord at 6,000 feet. Remember to ...

You can see these and the rest of that roll as well as some of my other shots from the day here.

Keep Your Youngens Away

I don't often remember dreams that I have, but last night I had a dream that I actually remember. Remember at least enough to be slightly disturbed. Here it is, so analyze at will ...

I am hiking. I don't know where, but it isn't an overly difficult hike. Sort of wide carriage trail style trails like they have at Lake Minnewaska.

For some reason I am holding a baby. I have no idea as to why or who the parents of this baby are. As opposed to a nice papoose or baby backpack as would be prudent and more comfortable for all parties, the baby is all wrapped up in a blanket, sort of like they always have baby Jesus wrapped up in Christmas pageants.

Anywho, despite the fact that the hike is fairly easy, I get off track and find myself sliding down a hill half on my feet and half on my ass. The hill is all loose dirt and shale, so there isn't much of anything to grab onto that isn't sliding along with me. I'm doing my best to protect the baby which is resulting in a lot of banging and scraping of my own self. It is a mess. I'm sliding feet first, baby in one arm, with the other elbow scrapping the rocks. I occasionally try to shoot my hand out to try to latch onto something solid. Unsuccessful on all attempts.

I see that the hill I'm sliding down leads to a drop off and I am in some serious shit unless I grab onto something. I small tree is coming up, but I definitely need two hands to grab that thing and save my, and the baby's ass. I grab the baby blanket in my teeth nice and tight and make a grab for the tree ... Got It! Just as I start to feel relieved and a bit triumphant, I notice that all I now have in my teeth is a blanket. The baby had slipped out and must have slid right over the edge.

As you might imagine, upon that discovery I was pretty upset. I woke up right around there, so I don't know for sure that the baby didn't have wings or land on a trampoline or was saved by an eagle flying by, but I tend to assume the worst.

Disturbing.

So, to all of you knowledgeable in dream meanings feel free to let me know what that was all about. For those of you who have children or children on the way (Andrew), you may want to think twice about having me take your wee ones on hikes.

Is That a Phone Ringing or My Pockets Jinglin'

Report: Crowe Reaches Phone-hurling Settlement

A British newspaper has reported that Oscar-winning actor Russell Crowe will pay a whopping $10.8 million settlement to the Mercer Hotel porter he is accused of injuring during his notorious phone-hurling outburst in June.

For $10.8 million, I think I'd be willing to let Russell Crowe hit me in the face with a phone at least once. As a matter of fact, I think I'd be willing to let him stuff a phone right up my ass.

Comment Whores

My previous post seemed to attract a whole lot of comments. I was a bit excited for a moment, thinking I had suddenly become popular. Then I took a look at what people had to say and it turns out that it is just a bunch of jerkoffs trying to sell their crap via me. Actually most isn't even selling anything. There are just adds on their page that they are hoping people click on so they can get paid. Do me a favor and don't click on any of their shit. Unless I am getting a cut of their big advertising cash landslide, I'm not participating. I was going to remove the comments, but have decided to leave these so I have a reason to bitch about something. Plus I have TinaPoPo all jealous as hell.

TinaPoPo said...
Wow, hip hop rap ringtones, corvette parts, and annual credit reports...you are one lucky blogger!

Only in your dreams PoPo can you get treats as good as these via blog. Only in your dreams.

Whoever is demanding photos (AP I presume?), you are just going to have to remain patient. The photos were taken on film which means they must be developed. This isn't all instant gratification all the time. OK?

Regular people ... keep on commenting. Sales freaks ... cut the shit.

Made It

I know you have probably been worried sick about me. Sorry about the delay, but yes, the skydiving was successful. Photos of my 120 MPH wind-thrashed face will be posted once developed.

Fun With Pseudonyms

If I got a card like this, I would keep it and use it with pride ...

News from across the pond:
Wednesday August 3, 05:19 PM

Sign Here Please 'Mr Dick Head'

A bank has apologised to a customer after sending him a debit card bearing the name "Dick Head".NatWest said it had launched an inquiry after Chris Lancaster, 18, of Tiptree, Essex, received a cash card with the wording: "Mr C Lancaster Dick Head".Mr Lancaster said he did not spot the insult until he was handing over the card in a supermarket to pay for something a few days after it arrived in the post.

"I couldn't believe it," he said.

"When I got the card out I saw the name embossed on it. I was so embarrassed I put it back in my wallet.

"I know I've been overdrawn a few times but I've done nothing to deserve this.

"The bank said it must have been a worker with a grudge."

A NatWest spokesman said: "We have apologised unreservedly to Mr Lancaster.

"This is completely unacceptable and we have launched an investigation."

This Could Be The Last

Well, tomorrow morn I'm heading upstate a little way to go skydiving. I've wanted to go skydiving since I was a little kid and would see people in the skies over Duanesburg, N.Y., dangling under parachutes, drifting to earth (sometimes a long way away from the landing field). Once I got old enough to do it something would always mess up the plan -- not enough money, too drunk, no car, partner in crime unavailable, etc. Anyway, tomorrow is it. I'm fucking jumping.

7'2" vs. 5'6"

Coach: "I don't care how big you say she is. Get out there, box out and get some goddamn rebounds!"

The New York Liberty's Becky Hammon, in front, guards the Connecticut Sun's 7-foot-two-inch center Margo Dydek, of Poland, during the second half of their WNBA game at Madison Square Garden in New York Tuesday, Aug. 2, 2005. (AP Photo/Gregory Bull)

Do I smell a double date brewing?

Not To Be Confused With Amber Alert

Perhaps this week is already dragging and the weekend seems like a distant mirage. Maybe you really crave need something to look forward to so you'll make it through the week. Well, why not look forward to having your socks rocked right the fuck off?

I know some of you are thinking that Meat Loaf at the Beacon Theatre might be a nice end to the week, but for some serious rockin', you should head to Brooklyn Music Terminal (formerly known as L'Amour) to see the amber code (staring former co-worker Aaron) this coming Friday.

That will make the week go a bit more expeditiously and will serve you up the metal you so dearly have been missing. Plus, I'll be there and God knows you can't go wrong with that!