Friday, May 5, 2006

Insane in the MemBlaine

Last night I shot up to Lincoln Center to get a peep of David Blaine floating around in his watery, crystal ball. As all things that are free and slightly freakshowish, it attracted quite a mob of idiots. Blaine wasn't doing much of anything when I was there. Apparently he was getting his nasty, rotting hands treated, so he was just up by the top of the tank with his hands outside. I wanted to see something happen, maybe some swimming, or waving or whatever one does in a water-filled ball, but I'm not one to devote a lot of time to a waterlogged guy with rotting hands who may or not live past Monday, so I didn't stay long.

Back when I used to work in NYC, I worked a late shift for awhile, so I was getting out at midnight. I used to rollerblade to and from work too, so when he pulled the frozen in ice stunt in Times Square I stopped by on my roll home for a little Blaine time and then when he did the standing on a big pole stunt in Bryant Park, I got to see him with practically nobody around. Just me on a chair and Blaine standing 100 feet up. That was cool. Anyway, it wasn't so cool this time with so many people around.

This lady was the highlight of my visit. People could walk up and touch the ball or take photos or whatever, but there were security guys around doing a lot of "Keep moving folks" and "Take your pictures but the line needs to keep going." Well, this woman was having none of it. She was there to show good ol' D.B. her love for his soggy body with roses. Blaine wasn't really looking due to his body position and the fact that his hands are about to fall off. Although security kept telling her to move on, she held her ground. Eventually Blaine saw her (I think), however he couldn't really signal his thanks or return any sign of love because his hands were busy and he has an air regulator crammed in his mouth. Nevertheless, she left looking somewhat accomplished. I bet Blaine can't wait to get out of there and spend some quality time with his new girlfriend who is at least 20 years older than him. HOT! I guess that is some added incentive to survive holding your breath for nine minutes.

That is beyond my comprehension by the way. Nine minutes! That's some sick shit.


Lozo said...

i'd like to know how you reach the point in your life where your job is, "Person Who Treats The Rotting Hands of Psychotics In A Ball Of Water In Lincoln Center"

Anonymous said...

Does he swim in his own piss?


fairest said...

The piss was filtered out through tubes. Just like with old people.