Saturday, December 11, 2004

Post Party

So, mission accomplished as far as my plan for the work holiday party went. I didn't get drunk enough to act like a jackass which is all for the best.

Towards the end of the night there was some co-worker hook-ups happening. This is inevitable I guess, but there is always some worry with the parties involved about how it will effect the other participant and how it may be viewed by other witnesses.

I think my high school friend Pete said it best. During one of the summers during college, a day after a lewd affair by yours truly, my friends and I were playing basketball. During a break from playing, a few girls we were friends with who were hanging out started giving me shit about my antics. Pete, who wasn't one to judge, especially in that arena, clearly didn't think I deserved what I was getting and throws in his two cents ~~

Pete interjects: Did you have fun?
Me: Yeah.
Pete: Do you think she did?
Me: I presume so.
Pete: Did you make any promises you can't keep?
Me: (Not knowing where he was going with this) No. I didn't make any promises.
Pete: Hmmmm. And did anyone get hurt?
Me: No.
Pete: So you had fun and nobody got hurt?
Me: Yeah?
Pete: Just as I thought. There is no problem. Now shut the fuck up. We're playing basketball.

So, any of you that feel dirty/confused/guilty or whatever due to your questionable acts just ask yourself Pete's questions. That might clear your name and your conscience. If it doesn't clear your name then you are a selfish, insensitive, dirty, dirty slut.

Name cleared or not, you should go clean your genitals! Gross.


k said...

OK, dish! i want to know who, what, when, where. at the very least throw me a blind item!

Anonymous said...

For me to clear my name and conscience the next morning, I simply ask myself whether I think I caught crabs. Nope -- awesome. Yep -- off to Duane Reade. Conscience cleared!