The Wit of The Stadium

Last night, I went to one of the worst baseball games I have ever seen. Definitely the worst I have ever seen in person, and this includes T-Ball. The game was Yankees vs. the hated Red Sox. For the Yankees, it was a fiasco of horrible pitching, shitty fielding and a lack of hitting. Awful.

Despite this shit storm on the field, and the annoying fucks from Boston around me, it was fun. Plus I had a couple of overpriced beers and a hot dog, so that makes the night better than average. Here are three things I overheard that gave me a laugh.

Outside the stadium before the game, by the big bat (where everyone loves to meet their friends -- including me) a woman walks by. On the way into a stadium that is slowly filling with 54,000+ people. She says, "Why is it so crowded?"

Next, was some guy behind me who had the genius to switch the nickname of David Ortiz a bit for his own enjoyment. Instead of Big Papi, this guy was yelling, "Ortiz! Big Poopy! Big Poopy!"

My favorite, was later in the game. I was in the bathroom making room for more beer. Some guy comes in, waiting his turn. He gets his best Boston accent going, "I'm from Baaston. Where'd I paark my caaa. I'm from Baaston. Where'd I paark my caaa." A couple of chuckles. Then, "Guys from Baaston have wicked small penises. Wicked small."