Tuesday, June 7, 2005

How I Spent My ...

I thought I would throw a couple of pictures from my vacation (or holiday) as the rest of the world likes to say) up for your viewing pleasure:

Here we have what is called an Agouti.
They are sort of like what you would get if you could mate a large guinea pig with a large rabbit. They look like fun. I ate a close relative of the agouti, a paca (aka gibnut) for dinner one night.

Tasty.









Here we have some sort of dung beetle doing what dung beetles do best ... push poop around.

Notice his little friend (or perhaps rival) Mr. Fly in the lower portion of the photo trying to get a piece of the action.












Here is a skeleton of a human sacrifice in Actun Tunichil Muknal, or ATM as many (including myself) like to call it.
The Maya would use this cave for sacrificing and bloodletting rituals. The skeleton is from around 900 A.D. Apparently the Maya would go in this cave and get all trippy on mushrooms or other hallucinogens and carry on their rituals. It must have led to some pretty bad trips, especially for those sacrificed. If you ever go to Belize this is one stop I would call a "must see." It's fucking cool.














Here's a little friend of mine I met briefly in Guatemala -- the coati.

The coati is sort of like a raccoon, but hangs out during the day and isn't so fucking fat. This one didn't give a shit about me and came out of his tree and walked by me close enough that I could here his panting from the effort in the jungle heat.









This is the van/license plate of the douche bags who drove us to Tikal in Guatemala. They tried to fuck us out of some money.
That shit didn't go over too well.

Don't ride with them unless you like getting fucked with or if you like walking around ancient ruins really pissed off. If you like those things then pile in the van.










Here's me doing one of the things I do really well ... staring at my feet while swinging in a hammock.

















Here are some kids in Hopkins, Belize showing me that hammocks can be used for more rowdy fun than what I use them for.
I'm old and lazy. I get it kids. Fuck off, I'm on vacation.















Here is where footwear belongs while on vacation. No place near feet. Barefoot is the way to be.


The beach in Hopkins. As you can see there's not a lot going on. Just the way I like it.

















Ah, back to the creatures. Here is a bird I like.
There was a whole posse of these suckers around and they would stalk and eat insects, especially around dusk.

He's got one in his beak right now! Nice work champ. One less bug pissing me off while trying to sleep.









Here's some of the kids who lived next door to the place I was staying in Hopkins. I would like to emphasize some. Holy crap, those parents of theirs must like gettin' busy.

There was a lot of activity over there. The activity (such as the running pictured) would usually lead to somebody crying.












Next stop was Tobacco Caye (pronounced key). Just what the doctor ordered.

As if the island isn't enough as is, there was a bar just steps from the water.

















The view from the front porch of my cabin at Tobacco Caye Lodge.

SWEET HOME indeed.















The aforementioned bar had a happy hour that began at 5:00pm.

Rum and Cokes? $3.00 Belize. That translates into $1.50 U.S.

As if that isn't enough to keep me content, there would also be kickass sunsets easily viewed from barside.















On the way back to Belize City to catch a flight home to the U.S. of A., flying sounded a bit less annoying, and not much more expensive than the bus. As it turns out, the plane was smaller than a bus.

















The inside of the plane.
This fucker holds 12 plus a pilot and co-pilot. Notice the pilot's head up there in the front? This flight had no co-pilot and certainly had no cockpit door to stop terrorists from taking over.

I almost asked if I could sit in the co-pilot's seat, but figured in this winged minivan maybe the pilot didn't need any distractions.






This was a group of missionaries from Georgia waiting for their flight at the airport.

I saw at least three groups such as this during my time in Belize. They like wearing matching T-shirts and spreading Jesus' love throughout the land. Ya gotta stop those blood-crazy Maya from doing all their sacrificing you know.

The majority of them had a look that would have me uninterested in asking them for directions to the bathroom, nevermind the answers to my spiritual existence.

I was trying to guess if any of the teens were perhaps using the low chaperone/teen ratio to push aside thoughts of eternal damnation and get it on. A few looked suspicious.

A heard a female member from a different group of red T-shirt wearing missionaries from Texas say some comment about " ... such a stereotypical Yankee." I wanted to go up and ask her how her stereotypical southern ass was going to be speaking so negatively about northerners when she is trying to promote Jesus, but I didn't. Instead I just stuck my Yankee foot up her fat redneck ass. No, I didn't do that either, but I should have.

The last slide in our vacation slide show is just one more reason to dislike Florida.

This is my receipt from the purchase of two newspapers at the Miami International Airport.

Notice anything odd? Tax. Fucking tax on newspapers.

So stupid. So annoying.
















THE END

2 comments:

k said...

hey bill! ive eaten agouti before! im pretty sure it is the national dish of cote d'ivoire. i was there 3 years before i tried it, mostly because id heard it described as "bush rat." i thought the skin was a little thick but other than that it was yummers.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh -- I enjoyed your little travelogue immensely!