Monday, July 12, 2004

Upper Deck Abuse

It has been raining all day today. Shitty drizzle with no relief in sight.

I leave work today and there is a double decker tour bus unloading and loading tourists.

Hey tourists! Why the FUCK would you be getting on a double decker tour bus on a day like this? If you are going to ride the bottom level you may as well save yourself $35 and just ride on a normal city bus and if you are going to ride on the upper deck ... well, you must be a complete jackass. There were people on the upper deck with umbrellas up and cheap-ass ponchos on. Poncho or not, there is no way in hell you are having a good time sightseeing like that. No doubt, your family will remember this day the rest of their lives. "Remember that time we went to NYC back in 2004? It was raining all damn day, but dad still thought it would be a 'good way to see the city AND with smaller crowds' if we went on a double decker tour bus. That shit sucked. I was sick for like a week after that."

I can definitely admit to being a dumb tourist at times, but I can assure you that you would not, and will not find me sitting in a vehicle with no roof when it is raining and has been raining the entire day.

One other time I saw some tourists being abused on a double decker tour bus. This time the abuse was not weather related. This past winter, on one of those first warm weather days that sort of falsely hint at spring I see some kids on 1st Avenue and 15th Street making snowballs as fast as they could from a small snowbank that wasn't going to last through the sunny day. I know something was up. One of them says, "Hurry up it's coming." I turn and see it coming. A double decker tour bus, packed with tourists who were psyched at their good weather fortune. The bus rolls on by and those kids unload their arsenal. It was awesome! Tourists yelping and ducking. Local kids laughing. Me wishing I had joined them in the attack. I can only imagine how story was retold back in Germany, Calgary, South Carolina and Plattsburgh.

Thank you double decker busses for the stories and thank you tourists visiting even when the weather is shitty. Funny busses + funny people = funny memories + revenue our city needs.

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