Monkey Business

I recently read an article on some reality TV shows that were pitched to television networks but turned down. Maybe the networks were correct, but I think these two sound great (I don't know if I would have actually watched them, but the ideas are pure genius):

Iron Lung
Several smokers under one roof try to kick the habit cold turkey. Withdrawal and paranoia set in, and the place gets as bitchy as the Tri Delt house during group menses. That open carton of cigarettes lying on the dining room table doesn't help. One puff and you're out.

I've Got a Monkey On My Back
In a new frantic cross-country relay race, the contestants are not carrying a metaphoric monkey or two on their back. Nope, a real live banana-munching, feces-flinging simian plays the role of a baton that must be moved from one coast to the other.